Evolving Friendships: When to Salvage Them, When to Let Them Go

A lot of us are guilty of holding on to friendships that were once great and have now shifted for whatever reason. The question usually lies around whether or not to talk things out and rekindle a once tight bond, or let it go and just remember the happy days. Consider these tips first before making your decision.  

Call Her

Is a long-distance friend becoming more distant? Reach out with a non-confrontational approach like, “I really cherish our friendship, and I want to stay close with you. Are you cool with that?” That may prompt her to make more of an effort to call and visit.

Look at Yourself

Maybe it’s time to rethink what kind of friend you’re being. Try some searching inside yourself. Take notice that your amigo may be tired of you ranting about your job or being pestered with constant gossip about others. If so, come clean with a line like this, “I’m sorry I keep rehashing office issues. Let’s talk about what you have going on in your life.” Seeing that you’re trying to improve the bond will inspire her to do the same.

Celebrate What You Have in Common

We tend to attract those who are like us. Even if you’re in different stages in life, your shared history can be enough to stick it out. You may not be the crazy party girls or avid road travelers like you used to be, but you know each other to the core and love each other for it.

Reconsider Her Role

Has a close friend stopped confiding her deepest secrets? That could be a sign that it’s time to reconsider her role in your network. It’s natural that different friends fill different needs and that you don’t treat them all the same. So instead of worrying about the heart-to-heart conversation, just consider her more a casual connection who’s perfect for shopping, lunch or a good laugh.

Call it Quits

If a so-called friend does something really out of line, ask yourself some of the tough questions: Do I feel good around her? Would I treat someone else this way? Is this friendship worth salvaging? If not, it’s time to throw in the towel. Trust can be a tough thing to gain and, equally, when it’s lost, you don’t have much left. Politely decline her invitations, and she’ll get the message. If you still see her in group settings, avoid giving her any feed for gossip by being very careful of what you say around her and to her. Save your time and energy for the friends who genuinely care.

What’s your take? Do you think it’s ever too late to revive a fading friendship?