Is Natural Black Hair Care Redundant? Why Are Black Women So Negative?

Aug 06, 2012 | Comments 1

As I peruse beauty websites daily, it seems that more and more people are embracing the natural hair conversation. Whether it’s because your best friend just did the “Big Chop“, or you ‘liked’ the Facebook picture of the white father finding frustration in his daughters plaits, or simply because your favorite celebrity finally unveiled what they are working with, it seems as if everyone is intrigued with natural hair.

Although many naturalistas love getting together to share tips, stories, and life theories, there are an increasing amount of Natural Hairters- (hair and hater combined). What is a ‘hairter’ you ask? Let’s break it down:

1. Someone who is still adamant that natural hair is a trend.

2. People who are annoyed at women with Natural Hair

3. People who don’t care to understand the multi-faceted subject of natural hair.

4. Someone who bashes a complete stranger for their natural hair transition and unveiling.

It’s sad to say that most of these people who fit into these statements are African American women. Why are we so prone to hating each other and tearing each other down? Why are we so afraid to accept who we truly are? Why are Black women so negative about other open-minded women learning more about their roots, and how to treat themselves properly?

For so long we have done nothing but stand out by trying to fit in. No matter how you dress, how you talk, or the style of your hair, it is plain to the naked eye that we all have one thing in common- we are all in this together. If you break it down to the smallest common denominator, you will find that our culture stems from the same place.

Though we continue to progress as a community, fear of the unknown holds us back. Not everyone is brave enough to fully express themselves, but are they entitled to spreading their negativity on the rest of us?

Thoughts?

Filed Under: Hair

Tags: African american women • black hair • black women • celebrities with natural hair • hair hater • hairter • natural hair • natural styling • perm • redundant • the big chop • transition • weaves

Desert Rose

I wish I could adamantly deny your claim, and I almost did, until I remembered that, about 3 years back, I was all but cursed out by another sistah IN the office and in the presence of just about every other race in existence (it was a very diverse workplace). She worked in manufacturing and had come up to the office section, which was common, and was literally talking very loudly (or yelling, according to my Asian girlfriend/coworker). As it was so long ago, I just remember her final summary that it’s ok to wear my crazy looking hair at the club, but not in the office. I had been growing out my afro for about 4 years and at that point it had reached Angela Davis status. Oh yeah it was big, in fact a male coworker playfully noted that he couldn’t see around it during a meeting (trust me, the comment was NOT delivered offensively in any way). I would even lose pencils in it and I was rather proud of that.
I guess her reminder of cultural norms has worked. I’m ashamed to admit that I have switched to “texturized” hair, as my stylist calls it. In our non-PC world, lets call it was it is, a perm. Although I try to honor my inner naturalist by wearing the wet leave-in conditioner “look” (who am I kidding?!). I was afraid to keep the fro-fro as I was interviewing for a new job and its the one thing holding me back from returning to it as I currently begin the job hunt again. I admit that its my own insecurity because most other cultures seem to love it. In fact, at one point, while dining on my own at a sushi bar, I ended up with three Japanese waitresses excitedly giggling and touching it (which is a whole other conversation in racial sensitivity, given that I felt I shouldn’t deny their request to touch it for the sake of overcoming another ridiculous stereotype).
So yeah, sistah-on-sistah hatorade is still going on. But I’m wondering whether its the natural or just some underlying issues that we need to resolve with each other on an individual basis. Remember the Gabriel Douglas fiasco? We’ve always got SOMETHING to say about each others hair as an excuse. After all, I know that sistah had a problem with the nasally way that I talk (which I agree is annoying) and the afro was the only thing that kept her from calling me an oreo. Why do people always seem to think that others aren’t aware of how they really see us? I wish we could all just get the truths out in the open and be done with it. Again, a conversation for another day.