.Victoria Monét has never been one to shy away from her truth and in a recent conversation on Angie Martinez’s IRL podcast, the Grammy Award winning singer songwriter opened up about one of the more personal parts of her life: dating women.

The On My Mama singer, who has been open about her bisexuality since 2018, shared that navigating romantic relationships with women has proven to be more complicated than many might expect and far more emotionally layered than her experiences dating men.

Why dating women feels different to her

Monét was candid about a recurring frustration she has encountered in the dating pool. Women who pursue her tend to lead with physical attraction rather than genuine romantic interest. She described feeling approached in ways that feel more sensual than serious, and said she has longed for something with more emotional depth and intention behind it.

She acknowledged during the conversation with Martinez that her own choices may play some role in the pattern, but she was clear that the dynamic she keeps experiencing does not align with what she is truly looking for. For Monét, a real connection goes beyond admiring someone’s looks or physicality she wants to be pursued with the same seriousness she brings to her relationships.

The kind of energy she wants in a partner

When it comes to what she actually wants in a relationship, Monét is equally clear. She described herself as being in a deeply feminine space right now, and said she is drawn to someone who brings an opposing, more masculine energy regardless of their gender. That balance, she explained, matters to her both personally and as a mother.

Monét shares a daughter, Hazel, born in February 2021, with fitness influencer and actor John Gaines. The two announced the end of their relationship in September 2024, saying at the time that they both had personal growth to prioritize for the sake of their child. The split, while amicable, marked a significant shift in Monét’s personal life just as her career was reaching new heights.

She has spoken warmly about co-parenting and making sure her daughter grows up in a stable, loving environment. That includes being thoughtful about the kind of partner she eventually brings into her home and her life.

Her career is front and center right now

For the moment, Monét is leaning fully into her professional life. She recently completed culinary school a long-held personal goal and is currently on tour with Bruno Mars, a milestone that reflects just how far she has come as a performer and collaborator. Between the stage and the studio, there has not been much room for romance, and she seems at peace with that.

Monét first came out publicly in a 2018 Twitter post, and a year later made it even more explicit in her song Monopoly, in which she described her attraction to both women and men. The song became a cultural touchstone for fans who saw themselves reflected in her honesty.

She also had a well known relationship with fellow singer Kehlani, who is set to perform at the 2026 Essence Festival of Culture. That chapter of her life, like others, appears to have shaped how she thinks about love, compatibility and what she genuinely needs from a partner.

What comes next for Monét

Monét‘s willingness to speak openly about her dating life including its complications and disappointments is part of what makes her so relatable to fans who follow her closely. She is not presenting a polished, curated version of love. She is sharing the messy, evolving reality of it.

As her career continues to grow and her daughter gets older, she seems to be in a reflective place one where she knows exactly what she wants but is also content to wait for the right person to come along. For an artist who has built her entire brand on authenticity, that patience feels very much on brand.