For a generation that grew up with smartphones in hand, the pull of a glowing screen has never been stronger. Now, a new survey is putting real numbers to something many have quietly observed: a meaningful slice of Gen Z is trading real-life intimacy for endless social media feeds and many of them aren’t even sure they want it any other way.
The survey that started the conversation
Earlier this month, the self improvement app RiseGuide released findings from a survey of 2,000 Americans examining how Gen Z, millennials and Gen X each relate to their phones and social media habits. One of the more eye opening findings: 1 in 8 Gen Zers said they find scrolling social media more pleasurable than having sex. When looking at broader preferences, only 64% of Gen Z said they generally prefer sex, compared to 71% of millennials and 79% of Gen X. Meanwhile, 39% of Gen Z and 38% of millennials said they sometimes choose scrolling over sex as well.
Researchers gave this phenomenon a name: The Great Unwanting. A time strategist and productivity consultant at the company described it as a broader cultural shift toward passive consumption becoming a primary mode of living one where constant scrolling keeps people just satisfied enough that they stop craving the things that tend to matter most, including intimacy, connection, new experiences and meaningful engagement with the world around them.
The addiction driving the behavior
What makes this trend particularly difficult to reverse is that for many Gen Zers, the habit has crossed into something that feels compulsive. In the same RiseGuide survey, 57% of Gen Zers said doomscrolling feels just as addictive as tobacco or alcohol. Beyond that, 82% said they start and end their day on social media, and 44% reported spending more than six hours per day on their phones. The most common place Americans scroll, according to the data, is in bed with 71% saying that’s where they most often reach for their device.
That last detail is difficult to overlook. The very space most associated with rest and intimacy has, for a growing number of people, become the default setting for mindless screen time.
Even teens know it’s a problem
The awareness is there, even if the willpower to act on it isn’t always. In a conversation, a then 16 year old spoke candidly about the tension between knowing better and doing better. He acknowledged that outdoor activities and face to face conversations with friends are more valuable than time spent on a phone, but admitted that stepping away from the screen is genuinely hard and that doing so feels like a small personal victory every time.
His honesty captures something important. Gen Z did not choose to grow up in an environment engineered for maximum engagement. Social media platforms are designed by teams of developers whose entire purpose is to make scrolling feel irresistible, and that design is working exactly as intended. Blaming an entire generation for being caught in a system built to hold their attention misses a much larger point.
What gets lost in the scroll
The concern with The Great Unwanting goes beyond bedroom statistics. When passive screen consumption becomes the default way a person moves through their day, the appetite for the kinds of experiences that require effort, vulnerability and presence tends to quietly erode. Intimacy physical, emotional or otherwise demands all three.
Some of life’s most memorable and formative moments happen precisely when the phone is not in the room. The hope, for researchers and parents alike, is that Gen Z will find their way to those moments more often not because an app told them to, but because they started to feel what they were missing.
