Most people say cheating is never okay, with one big exception. If the affair turns into a lifelong love story, the public tends to forgive it, and sometimes even celebrates it. Writer Shannon Keating explored that unwritten rule in The Cut, pointing out that the couples who pull it off usually need decades of devotion before the betrayal fades from memory.

That exception says a lot about how we judge love. A cheater who ends up in a 50 year romance gets a fairy tale. The spouse who got left usually gets forgotten.

Why do we forgive some cheaters and not others?

Affairs usually come with a simple story of villain and victim. Keating argues there is one way out of that role. Stay with the person you cheated with long enough, and the story flips from betrayal to destiny.

In other words, time and a happy ending do a lot of the work. People rarely forgive the affair itself. They forgive it in hindsight because the relationship lasted.

Which famous couples started with cheating?

Two of Hollywood’s most beloved love stories began this way. Paul Newman was still married to his first wife, Jackie Witte, when he met Joanne Woodward on the set of The Long, Hot Summer in 1957. He divorced and married Woodward, and they stayed together for 50 years until his death in 2008. Today they are remembered as one of Hollywood’s great romances.

Tom Hanks was still married to his college sweetheart, Samantha Lewes, when he fell for Rita Wilson while filming Volunteers in 1985. Hanks and Wilson married in 1988 and celebrated 35 years together in 2023. Few fans remember how it started.

How does pop culture make cheating look romantic?

Movies often frame cheating as a brave choice for true love. In The Notebook, Allie is engaged to another man when she reunites with Noah, and audiences root for her to follow her heart. The fiancé barely registers.

Black cinema has shown the other side. In Waiting to Exhale, Bernadine’s husband leaves her for another woman after years of marriage, and her fury, including that famous scene with his car, became one of the most memorable moments of 1990s film. That story made the person left behind the main character instead of the footnote.

What about the person who gets left?

This is the part the happy ending skips. A spouse who was blindsided by an affair still had their life turned upside down, even if the new couple goes on to stay together for decades. Lasting love does not erase the lies that came first. It just means the story gets told by the people who stayed together.

Many therapists say a betrayal can leave lasting damage to trust and self worth. For the betrayed partner, it rarely matters whether the affair turned into true love.

So is cheating ever okay?

There is no single answer, but the question is worth asking honestly. People fall out of love, and sometimes they meet someone who changes everything while they are still committed to someone else. Ending one relationship before starting another is harder, but it lets everyone keep their dignity.

A love story can be real and still begin with real harm. Whether a happy ending makes up for that hurt depends on who you ask, and in most love stories, the person most qualified to answer never gets asked.